I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
