shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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