I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
