Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
