No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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