i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
