I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
