Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
