brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
why didn't you poke me back
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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