We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I know her cup size but not her name....
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