Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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