Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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