i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
