After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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