I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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