Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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