Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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