Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
