I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
