yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
