Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't deserve a penis
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
