She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
