all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
