Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
