Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
