i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
