Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have feelings that need drinking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
