Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
