theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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