Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
