Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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