Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
