I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
