Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want her autograph on my taint
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
