the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
bring money and cleavage
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
