we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
