I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
