too bad you live with your parents still
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
