I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
