A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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