so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
