dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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