Little spoons don't ask big questions
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
