Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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