Umm I'm too high to move.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
