So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
