I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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