So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We talked him into tasing himself.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
