No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
