Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
