i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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