Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
