they need to just BURY HIM!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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