If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
