I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
