after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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